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Happy Mother’s Day

Sometimes I get a little deep in quite moments and think about the legacy I’m leaving behind.  I literally think to myself, ‘If I meet Jesus tomorrow, have I done the best I could in raising my daughters?’  To me, among many things, this means: Are they loving, caring, honest, independent young women who love God and know how to prioritize their lives by putting God and family first, before money and material things?

Let me back up and explain why I ask myself this type of question, because it sounds a little morbid and dramatic… (Trust me, I don’t sit around thinking I’m going to die – that couldn’t be farther from reality!)  But, before I met Neil in 2006 (and married him a year later), I had been a single parent since Regan was 6 months old, so for 11 years.   And during those single-mom years, I remember hearing a little nagging voice in the back of my mind, telling me to hurry up, like I was on the clock and needed teach my kids what they needed to know before my time here expired.  I don’t believe God was warning me I’d have an early demise, but I do believe He was speaking to me, letting me know I had a distinct responsibility that needed tending to.  Because I was single, I knew this responsibility rested solidly on my shoulders and mine alone.

Early on, I devoured every parenting book I could find and put my heart and soul into being the best mother AND FATHER a woman could be.  Years back, I even subscribed to a weekly newsletter from Fathers.com, which gave timely ‘Friday afternoon’ advice to dads on how to parent.  Fatherly advice helped me fill in gaps and spot holes in our all female family that I earnestly tried to fill myself.  Not having a husband simply would not stop us from doing anything a mother+father household would normally do. 

For those who are still reading along, I wanted to digress for a quick sec and mention a few of my favorite parenting books:

  • Parenting With Love & Logic (I personally bought the audio recordings so I could listen to them while working or driving)
  • When the girls got older, I invested in the Parenting Teens With Love & Logic, another excellent title.  Advice that is hard to live by, but worth its weight in gold!!!!
  • I don’t know what I would have done without The Five Love Languages.  We STILL talk about the relevancy of Gary Chapman’s principles.  In true momma style, I recently asked my daughters if they’ve identified their significant others’ love languages; it’s always a thoughtful conversation.
  • For small children, I recommend The 5 Love Languages of Children.
  • I remember several valuable lessons from Parent Effectiveness Training.
  • One of my other super old books, that I also bought for my brothers when they both started families, was a book called Family Traditions, and touched based on creating your OWN traditions.  As a mom, I knew I needed to make my girls’ childhood special and unique.

Anyway, months ago, I asked both Hailey and Regan (ages 21 & 19) to make me a list of everything I’ve taught them.  I literally wanted to review it and make sure I haven’t missed anything.  So guess what I received for Mother’s Day today?  A beautiful list from both girls, detailing some small and some mighty things I’ve taught them.

Things like, “How to put in a tampon” (Yes, as a parent, it’s something you should teach your daughters – you’d be shocked at how many moms don’t think they need to cover this!) to “How to be spontaneous” (side note… one day I announced, “Girls, tomorrow, let’s go to Disney!” (this was just one awesome benefit of being the head of the household…) and the very next day we hopped in our minivan and drove to Florida!

My heart burst into a tiny million happy pieces when I read each entry in both girls’ lists.  And as expected, I felt so peaceful that I’ve passed on a good chunk of what they need to be happy in life, like ‘knowing God’ and ‘to not hold a grudge’ and ‘being comfortable in my own skin’.

Don’t get me wrong, there are some holes that I spotted (which was the main reason why I asked for the list in the first place!)  Things that I personally struggle with, like attending church regularly and serving my community and being better at saving money (ugh) and making dinner that isn’t just ‘meat’. lol   But the multi-page typed list I received today from both girls filled my heart up completely (and made me cry.)

Neil and I have been married for 8 years now, and having a husband help me raise up these girls through their teenage years has been God’s biggest blessing to me, I don’t know what I would have done without him.  The girls adore him and love him as their dad.  My family isn’t perfect by any means, but it’s perfect to me. <3

Happy Mother’s Day to you!  And to all the single mommas out there, I still remember the struggle, I know how tough you have it and I encourage you to keep doing the best you can do, it’s so worth it.

xo
Jenn
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